Cats (2019) One-Shot

 

Introduction

I saw Cats in the theater when it came out because I love bad movies and morbid curiosity is one of my things. I loved hating it. A player in a campaign I ran based on the movie National Treasure (more on that in an upcoming post) requested a Cats-themed one-shot. I figured, "why not?" and watched the movie again to take notes and be prepared to write the thing. (The movie is less fun when you're taking notes.) I wrote the following one-shot as a result, which is largely a series of specific jokes about the movie fit into a simple rules format. In fact, the rules are basically there just to add some tabletop game fun--you should use my difficulty ratings less as a set rule and more of a suggestion, and always remember that the key with difficulty rolls is that if the player comes up with something clever that you think would work, ignore or fudge the dice. No one wants to come up with a perfect plan and then be foiled by a natural 1. It's just not interesting or fun.

Anyway, below is the one-shot instructions, with all narration italicized for ease of use. I ran it earlier this week and had a good time--my players sang about as much as I did, which was fantastic more notes on how my playthrough went at the end of the instructions. One final note: I am not great at devising melodies, so I just wrote parodies of songs I know. There is obviously a redrafting of "Memories" from the movie and a reference to the beautiful song "Train Song" by Vashti Bunyan, which you should listen to. But the rest of the songs are parodies of songs I co-wrote and recorded when I was in undergrad, which I imagine you won't have access to. So find a melody that works for you, or re-write the songs altogether if you like. This is just a framework to make things easy to pick up and play. Good luck and have fun!

If you're interested in creating your own one-shots from a movie, read this guide for how to create an adventure like this yourself. 

Rules

Create a cat. Give them three names: the name your human family calls you, the name other cats call you, and your unspoken name. (Do not write down or share your unspoken name under any condition. It should be effable, ineffable, and effineffable.) 

All cats are defined by their proficiency in six traits. These traits are Fierceness (attack roll versus Grace or Sneak--a higher Fierceness roll means the target loses one life), Grace (jumping, balance, defense), Sneak (evading detection, superior darkvision, defense), Moxie (excelling as an independent cat, initiative), Fostering (excelling as a social cat, calming enemies), and Expressiveness (singing, dancing). Choose two traits to be especially skilled in--these skills use a d20 to roll, and the other three skills use a d12 to roll. 

All cats have nine lives. Draw nine circles and mark one off any time you are injured. If you lose all nine lives, you are eliminated from the Jellicle Ball and must retreat to lick your wounds. 

Opening Scene 

[narration is italicized] You are in some kind of Hell. No matter which way you look or try to move, you are surrounded in some manner of thick cloth and other cats. The last thing you remember, there was a can of tuna near a bag. When you ate some, you were shoved into that bag. The sound of a car stopping alerts you to the fact that something has changed. You feel the sack being lifted. You feel the rush of gravity being defied for a moment, then the sickening feeling of falling back under gravity’s spell, but the sack is tightly packed and you have a hard time getting your legs under you. With a sickening thud, you land. [Roll a Grace die - an 8 or below loses one life.]

Moments later, the sack is torn open by razor-sharp claws. Five cats surround you: a slim orange tabby, an undersized black cat, a muscular Siamese, a one-eyed grey tabby, and a plump Havana brown. The cats proudly introduce themselves and ask if the player cats will be competing in the Jellicle Ball. They explain that being chosen as this year’s Jellicle Cat means the promise of a new, better life. They also say that three years ago, they competed in the Jellicle Ball as a group with Old Deuteronomy’s approval and urge the player cats to compete. They themselves are not competing this year because of stiff competition from the other cats in the neighborhood. 

Inspection reveals that the player cats have been tossed, bag and all, behind a Burger King. There is rancid burger meat and a variety of rats to be picked over before moving on to the first house of the competition. 

Cat Audience Members

Orange tabby: Whisker Prince/Galapaghost (human is a hipster) - slim, scaredy cat, highly supportive of player cats, always offering to groom them. Walks on all fours. 

Black cat: Little Night/Queenie - undersized, big talker, wants the player cats to perform but also maintain realistic expectations, aloof. Walks upright.

Siamese: Yasser Aracat/Fluffy (human is a 3-year-old) - muscular, wise, always being ridiculed by other cats, gives good advice to the player cats. Walks upright. 

Grey tabby: Winkadink/Petey - one-eyed, threatens fights he doesn’t actually want to get into, gives combat tips about housecats they had fought in previous competition. Walks on all fours. 

Havana brown: Penny Tenlives/Dot - plump, adventurous, silly, tells the player cats that all they have to do is be bold and trust in their cat fates. Walks upright. 

House 1

Guided by the crew of audience member cats, hereafter “the Herd,” the player cats arrive at the first house. On the edge of where a selection of businesses become suburbs, there is a yellow house with a short fence. An older cat sits atop this short fence and gestures the player cats toward her. “I am Old Deuteronomy,” she says, “and I have heard that you want to compete in the Jellicle Ball. You may compete as a group as the Herd did in years past; should you become the Jellicle Choice, you will all be allowed entry to the new life associated with the title. But I will warn you: you must out-cat every cat in the five houses of the Jellicle Ball to win, for the stakes must rise in measure with the difficulty. Are you ready?” Old Deuteronomy ushers the player cats into the first house via a cat door on the side of the yard, telling them, “Remember to think hard about what it means to be a Jellicle Cat--it is the key to becoming the Jellicle Choice!”

Inside the house, there are an array of human objects and cat toys of varying sizes. A scratching post towers high above the reach of any cat; human chairs tower almost as high as the scratching post. All is silent at first, but then the sound of purring grows louder and louder. A stately white cat enters the room, sizing up the player cats. “So you’re competing for the Jellicle Crown as well? You are the last competitors to enter this house, you should know. When I inevitably defeat you, I will move on to the next house to defeat the next cat. But I am getting carried away. Please allow me to introduce myself…”

Horkus Clawscratch

Horkus is a purely white cat with a dark blue collar; his humans call him Eddie. He has an extra claw on each of his feet and widely set eyes. 

(to the tune of “Dream Store”)

My name’s Horkus Clawscratch; I have extra claws

They say I’m unruly; I break all the laws

My extra claws are scary; they give all cats pause

Still I’m quite exciting; I love the oohs and aahs

I start my cat performing and meet with grand applause

I have no more cat friends; I have too many flaws

But it does not bother me; I’m always fine because

I’m loved by all the kittens and the cat grandmas

Horkus will fight if goaded into it, but he is also easily tricked. His ego can be flattered and he will offer advice on how to be a grand performer, bestowing a +2 bonus to the party’s Expressiveness rolls. Alternatively, if the party mocks his performing skills, he will become insecure and run off to be alone with his thoughts, allowing them to pass him by. If a fight results, he will run away after losing three lives.

When Horkus is bypassed in any fashion, a human will emerge from the bathroom down the hall, revealing an open window to the yard of the neighbors’ next door.  

Macavity Appears

When the player cats find their way to the next yard, the Herd is there to congratulate them. They praise the skills it took to bypass Horkus and talk about what a challenge he was before. Suddenly, you hear faint padding along the grass in the corner of the yard. A mangy cat makes his way toward them. Once in the security light of the garage, the cat leaps towards the party and says, “Macavity, Macavity, say it now: Macavity! You know what I’m gonna do to the likes of you? [pause] Not kidnap you! I actually have to read this: [he pulls out a small scrap of paper with writing on it] ‘I, Macavity, am both legally barred from competing for the Jellicle Crown and forbidden from ever using my powers to kidnap another cat. I formally apologize for my previous conduct and will refrain from such insidious behavior under penalty of being neutered the rest of the way.’ [gestures toward a tuft of fur covering his crotch] They got one of my boys last time and I don’t want to lose the other. You get it, right? But I can still add a little chaos to the proceedings. I need a volunteer!” Macavity pulls a set of magic dice from his fur and rolls them [2 d6s]: if the first d6 is 4-6, the volunteer gets a boost of the other d6’s number to the trait of their choice; if the first d6 is 1-3, the volunteer gets a deduction of the other d6’s number to the trait of the GM’s choice. 

After the dice rolls have been completed, Macavity teleports away, shouting “I’ll be back before this is through!”

House 2 

After dealing with Macavity, the Herd urges the party to move into the second house, a dark grey two-story with all the lights turned off. A side door to the garage is cracked open. Inside the garage, there is a burgundy sedan and a homemade cat home with upholstered platforms, gangways, scratching posts, food and water dishes, and dangling toys like feathers and fake mice. The sedan looks as though it is sized for cats, but the cat home is easily twice the height of the car. Suddenly, from atop the roof of the sedan, a grey cat with a hot pink collar climbs down to the hood and looks apprehensively at the player cats. “I assume you’re here for the Jellicle Ball,” she says. “But you’ll have to get through me first, and let me tell you, it’s no easy feat to get through [dramatic flourish] BORKLESNOUT!”

Borklesnout

Borklesnout is a Russian Blue with a hot pink collar; her humans call her Princess Diana. She clearly spends all of her time sleeping and eating like a good cat does. She has human hands and a pair of Converse sneakers.

(to the tune of “Cheese Heaven”)

Well my name’s Borklesnout, and my aim is true

I’m gonna make a big ol’ scratching post out of you

My claws will sink in, and cat, when I’m through

They’ll have to put you back together with kitty glue

I’ll reiterate: my name’s Borklesnout

The tomcats see me and they scream and shout

With my feline moves, I really knock them out

I’ll be the Jellicle without any doubt

Borklesnout is ready for a fight. She has a special spin attack that allows her to strike every enemy in range on one turn. The player cats can also fool her into showing how good she is in combat using her scratching posts, on which she gets stuck. Alternatively, if the party can distract her, it is possible to sneak past her entirely. If a fight erupts, Borklesnout will leave after losing four lives. 

Cockroaches with Cat Faces’ Interlude

If the party doesn’t immediately deal with Borklesnout, a swarm of cockroaches with cat faces appear from under the sedan. They stack into a cockroach pyramid and sing: 

(also to the tune of “Cheese Heaven”)

Things are hard when you live in a garage

So we grew cat faces for camouflage 

If you want our help, then we’ll sabotage 

Borklesnout with our roach entourage

If enlisted to help, the cockroaches will swarm the cat home, sacrificing part of their ranks to help the party move on. A small contingent of the roaches will also pry open a window to the other side of the property, allowing for passage. Otherwise, the roaches will open the window after Borklesnout is defeated. If asked about the threat of being eaten by Borklesnout, they reply, "We gladly give up our safety given a chance to dance."

Grizabella 1

When the player cats emerge into the yard, a sad cat wrapped in garbage lies crying on the lawn, her back against a tall fence. She looks up, sees the player cats, and begins to sing:

(to the tune of “Memories”)

Nine lives - what will we do with nine lives?

Can’t we make just one holy? Is it worth it to go?

Nine lives - do we really live nine lives?

Either burn down in Hell here, or be frozen in snow? 

Nine lives - far too many is nine lives

We just want to be happy at whatever the cost

Nine lives - I don’t want all my nine lives

I fear if I were happy, I would surely be lost

Grizabella finishes her song, gathers her trash wrappings, and slinks away, revealing a hole in the fence to the next yard. The Herd tells the player cats her name and say that she is generally kind of a bummer, always singing about how sad she is. “She almost won the Jellicle Choice last year just to get her to stop being such a drag, but Old Deuteronomy picked Mr. Mistoffelees for rescuing her from Macavity instead, because obviously that’s what you do when someone literally saves you from danger.”

The Herd follows the party cats into the next yard, which has an open window leading into the living room. 

House 3

A low, wide brick house sits in the center of the property. Through the window is a spacious living room easily twice the size of the previous garage. The couch seat is three times the height of a standing cat. Human plates, sized appropriately for cats, are scattered across the furniture with oversized shrimp and undersized forks. From down the hallway comes a calico cat with a black leather studded collar, who stands upright and begins to sing: 

Calicbro

Calicbro is a calico cat with an extra wide black collar with metal studs; his humans call him Chad. He is unsettlingly muscular and speaks slowly. 

(to the tune of “Silvered Elephants Harken”)

I take all of your things; that is the name of my grift

You’re too weak to stop me, cat; do you even lift?

You are no challenge; step to me and you will be stopped

I do my thing and all the while my collar is popped

Step to me twice, kitty cat, and both times will be follies

Grab your board ‘cause we know it’s ollies before mollies

I’m gonna win it all, and cat, you don’t even know

I marked your litter box, c’mon now are you mad, bro?

Calicbro is largely unwilling to fight; he repeats, “I don’t wanna fight you, bro” but takes a combat stance nonetheless. He can be easily manipulated or fooled, especially if the party cats can convince him it is cooler to let them pass. Calicbro is happy to share his catnip and the scattered leftovers if won over. If he does fight, he does damage equal to two lives on each strike. If a fight erupts, Calicbro will leave after losing five lives. 

When Calicbro is dealt with, a cat door on the other side of the room is revealed when a stack of magazines topples over. The cat door leads out to a spacious yard filled with piles of cat poop. The Herd praises the party for their prowess, but scatters when a brown-and-black striped cat appears. He marks several of the piles of cat poop before introducing himself. 

Rum Tum Tugger

“I’m Rum Tum Tugger, and I’m here because I heard there were some sexy-ass cats making their way from house to house. I’m into it. Who here is the sexiest cat?” Rum Tum Tugger makes advances on the cat who volunteers, launching into a short song:

(to the tune of “Train Song” by Vashti Bunyan)

Markin’ a cat, that’s the way that I bind you

To kitty-cat love, and please let me remind you

I’ll flirt and I’ll smile, but get carried away

And you will forget that I will never stay

Rum Tum Tugger flirts until consummation is imminent, then rejects the cat and asks, “Okay, who here is the second-sexiest cat?” Before anyone can answer, a human comes outside with a broom and shoos all the cats away, forcing the party toward the next house. 

House 4 

You enter the next yard to see a white-painted house with faux-Greek columns at the front door. A window allows them access to a rec room with a computer (cat-sized), a collection of board games (enormous), and a few bean bag chairs (too small even for cats). Moments later, a striking Maine Coon enters the room and stares at the party. Only when they speak does she introduce herself. “Of course I’m Purrsnickety, the obvious choice for the Jellicle Ball.” Then she sings:

Purrsnickety

Purrsnickety is a Maine Coon with no collar (though a partially-shredded red collar can be spotted on the ground by her cat bed); her humans call her Tinkerbell. Her lion-like mane of light grey hair makes her black fur look darker than black. She has human hands and an array of dazzling rings.

(to the tune of “Left of the Fifties”)

I’ll be the kitty cat with the Jellicle Crown

They call me “The Vet” ‘cause I’ll put you down

In the victory circle, you won’t be around

I’ll be floating off while you’re in Losertown

I’m the cat with the Jellicle Dreams

Try to match me and you’ll split at the seams

Don’t even try to play with my little toe-beans

I’m the cat that takes it all to the extreme

Purrsnickety can be flattered into thinking she is above the Jellicle Ball. She can also be convinced the party is friends if they groom her. If the party mocks her little toe-beans, she will leave crying. If forced into combat, she will u nleash an attack that adds a -4 to all rolls of a random trait. Purrsnickety will leave after losing five lives. 

Mouse Chorus’ Interlude

A chorus of five mice enters the room shortly after Purrsnickety’s song. They hide atop the board game stacks and sing:

(to the tune of “Left of the Fifties”)

Purrsnickety doesn’t like to wear a collar

With that thing on, she’s not such a brawler

Put it back on and she’ll hiss and holler

After that, you can team up and maul ‘er

With Purrsnickety’s collar back on, she loses access to her special attack and leaves after only three lives being taken. 

After bypassing Purrsnickety, the player cats leave through a cracked door. In the yard, the party is joined by the Herd again for more debriefing and compliments. Shortly afterward, they are approached by brown-and-white cats who bob their heads and flick their tails in unison. 

Mungo Jerry + Rumpleteazer

“Hi there!” they cry in unison. “He’s Mungo Jerry,” she says, and he says, “and she’s Rumpleteazer.” Together, they say, “And we want you to win the Jellicle Crown. You’ve really impressed us. And so we want to offer you…” Before they can finish the sentence, a familiar strain of music comes from the other side of the yard: 

Grizabella 2

(to the tune of “Memories”)

Nine lives - what will we do with nine lives?

Can’t we make just one holy? Is it worth it to go?

Nine lives - do we really live nine lives?

Either burn down in Hell here, or be frozen in snow? 

When Grizabella finishes the verse, Mungo Jerry and Rumpleteaser say in unison, “Aaaaaaaanyway, we know a shortcut into the next house. It’s actually across the street. Just follow us!” They dash to the edge of the yard, leap over a cat-sized fence, and out into the street. 

Roll a Grace check [9 or higher] or lose two lives by being struck by a car. 

Any cat who is struck by the car is laughed at by Mungo Jerry and Rumpleteaser, who immediately disperse. 

Macavity Returns

Macavity teleports outside the chain link fence to the final house and says, “Your greatest challenge yet is inside this house. I can’t tell you what’s inside, but I’ll offer my deal again to two of you: roll the dice and receive a boon or bad fortune. 

Macavity pulls a set of magic dice from his fur and rolls them [2 d6s]: if the first d6 is 4-6, the volunteer gets a boost of the other d6’s number to the trait of their choice; if the first d6 is 1-3, the volunteer gets a deduction of the other d6’s number to the trait of the GM’s choice. 

House 5 

You arrives at a chain link fence with a hole at the corner of the yard. Immediately ahead is a light grey house with aluminum siding with closed door (cat-sized), a closed window (larger than human-sized), and a cat door (too large for cats). Through the cat door, the party finds a darkened living room with disproportionate furniture. 

Roll a Fostering check (difficulty 9) to realize that the cat door is not oversized; it is a dog door. A large grey bulldog-pit bull mix wakes up and rises to his feet, a green collar around his neck holding a tag that says “Vlad.” The dog gets between the dog door and the party. 

Vlad can bite for three lives damage and strikes twice per turn. He runs outside to nurse his wounds if he takes six lives damage. Vlad can be fooled by each of the traits. Grace allows the player cats to avoid his attacks with a roll of 10 or higher. Sneak allows the player cats to avoid being targeted for one round with a roll of 10 or higher and for two rounds with a roll of 15 or higher. Moxie allows the player cats to intimidate Vlad into not attacking that cat for one round with a roll of 10 or higher or two rounds with a roll of 15 or higher. Fostering allows the player cats to lower Vlad’s aggressiveness; one success roll of 10 or higher moves him from hostile to angry to defensive to neutral to friendly, and a roll of 15 or higher moves Vlad two spaces. Expressiveness allows the player cats to distract Vlad by singing and dancing; a roll of 10 or higher means Vlad will howl along (no biting) or run in circles dancing (all cats can take up better positions), depending on the action of the player cat; a roll of 15 or higher means Vlad do both. 

When Vlad has been bypassed, the adjoining dining room has an open window to the backyard; the sounds of a group of cats come through the window. The party leaves through this window to find the Herd again. “You’ve got to be the Jellicle Choice now! No one has ever gotten past Vlad without just running away.” Suddenly, familiar music comes from the other corner of the yard:

Grizabella 3

(to the tune of “Memories”)

Nine lives - far too many is nine lives

We just want to be happy at whatever the cost

Nine lives - I don’t want all my nine lives

I fear if I were happy, I would surely be lost

The Herd rolls their eyes and shakes their heads. As Grizabella pulls in air for another verse...

Macavity Returns Again

Macavity appears again. “You know, at this point, it’s worth them taking the other one,” he says before wrapping his paws around Grizabella and teleporting away. As if on cue, Old Deuteronomy leaps over the neighbor’s fence and tsk-tsks. “Poor Macavity. He just can’t help being a naughty cat, even when it’s all on the line. I do kinda get it, though. But enough dawdling. It’s time for the Jellicle Choice!”

Jellicle Choice

Old Deuteronomy lets out a long mewling screech, and within seconds, dozens of cats appear in the yard, each seeming to hum its own song in total discord with the others. She stands up on her hind legs and declares, “The time has come. The winner of the Jellicle Ball, or perhaps winners this year, will be granted a new life, a life full of yarn and salmon and collars with no bells to let mice know when you’re coming. But who has earned this new life? Surely, Horkus Clawscratch, with his daunting extra claws might have won the Ball? Or perhaps Borklesnout, with her frightening fightening skills? Or Calicbro, whose epic chill and magnificent abs are spoken of far and wide? Or Purrsnickety, with her self-assurance that makes even a cat envious? Any of these cats could be the Jellicle Choice. But this year, for feats you have all heard tale of tonight, our winner is the group that even bested Vlad, the Unbound Hound. Our Jellicle Choice this year is [all player cats names]! You have earned the right to a better life. Only one test remains: answer the question, “What does ‘Jellicle’ mean?”

After player cats offer answers or question Old Deuteronomy on the premise, she says, “Seriously, I don’t know. I was hoping you could tell me. Next year, we’re going with what you said. Anyway, now, our crowned Jellicle Cats, you are the winners. So sing us your songs, heroes, as you step aboard the Jellicle hot air balloon and into your new lives.”

The gathered cats cheer as the party watches a cat-sized hot air balloon descend from the sky and land in the backyard. You are ushered aboard with chants of “New life! New life!”

Hot Air Balloon

Aboard the Jellicle hot air balloon, the party can pick out the faces of the Herd, prouder of them than the rest. Penny Tenlives shouts, “I told you! Just be bold!” Whisker Prince jumps on top of another cat, then toward the rising balloon to try to offer a high four. Winkadink smiles widely and tells other cats about how well he knows you. Even Little Night tearfully waves her paw. You rise and rise, leaving the tiny backyard behind. Soon you are enveloped by clouds, then appear above them. The rising sun reveals enormous floating mouse sandwiches, infinite balls of yarn, scratching posts that smell like catnip no matter how much you mark them. You feel yourself growing dizzy with the grandiosity of it all. This truly is a better life, one you are only beginning to see. You’re growing tired, the kind of tired that cats love to be. You all curl up in the basket of the Jellicle hot air balloon and take a much earned nap. 

You awaken to the smell of warm milk. A black-and-white cat wearing a sequined vest and a top hat is holding a saucer over the basket of the Jellicle hot air balloon. “Hey there,” he says. “My name is Mr. Mistofelees. I won the Jellicle Crown last year, and so it is my duty to introduce you to your new life.” He turns and gestures to a wide expanse of clouds, on which dozens of cats play and groom and frolic and eat and sleep. There is everything you could imagine a cat would want, plus one thing you can’t peg right away. Mr. Mistofelees sees you wondering. “Curious as a cat, aren’t you?” He smiles easily. “That’s the pile we keep of the Jellicle hot air balloons from previous years. Won’t you help me take yours to the pile?”

But when you uncurl from your napping position, you separate from your body. You are a floating, incorporeal cat. Your body below you is frozen solid, icicles forming under your cute little nose. 

“It’s an unfortunate side effect of the journey. No cat can survive above the clouds long. The lack of air makes you pass out, and when you wake up, it’s in Cat Heaven. So like I said, just help me drag this balloon and your corpses over to the frozen cat pile and you can get started on that better new life thing.” 

As you drag your bodies in the balloon’s basket across the threshold of Cat Heaven, the other cats look knowingly at you, as though to say they too were horrified to discover that the Jellicle Crown is placed upon a frozen, lifeless skull. Some call out supportively, while others simply look sadly at your uncertain faces. But all of them seem to be uncomfortable with this year’s reminder that paradise comes at a price, a price they can’t communicate to the world that sent them. Somewhere, as you heave the balloon and your own departed body into a pile in the corner of Heaven, you can hear a song faintly in the back of your mind. A song that goes, to your horror:

(to the tune of “Memories”)

Nine lives - what will we do with nine lives?

Can’t we make just one holy? Is it worth it to go?

Nine lives - do we really live nine lives?

Either burn down in Hell here, or be frozen in snow? 

Nine lives - far too many is nine lives

We just want to be happy at whatever the cost

Nine lives - I don’t want all my nine lives

I fear if I were happy, I would surely be lost

Notes on My Playthrough

I asked my players to come up with as much or as little music as they wanted to for this one-shot. Of my three players, each took a different route. One named his cat Tom Jones and sang appropriate songs by the same musician whenever called up. Another named his cat ODB and freestyle rapped every time his cat was called upon to perform. The last player, whose cat was named Hellacious Crumb, improvised an extended song at the end of the one-shot when Old Deuteronomy invites them to sing. Each player's addition was phenomenal. This should ideally be the way you invite them to participate: as much as they like, but no pressure to sing if they're anxious about it. It also helps if everyone's a bad singer, because then you're dealing more with the silliness of the action than actual performing ability.

And for GMs who don't have a lot of experience, think about the house encounters this way: the goal really isn't to have the player cats fight every competitor. The nine lives design means that all combat would have the whole party near death before meeting Vlad, who is likely to knock out any flagging cats. Instead, tell your players directly at the beginning of the game that ingenuity and creativity are the better bets; however they can imagine to get around the cats is the best possibility. And don't fret the difficulty of things--if your players come up with a plan that sounds like it would work, make it work. If they're figuring things out so quickly that they are moving too quickly, create a complication. For instance, if the party immediately figured out how to bypass Borklesnout, have Borklesnout become territorial and try to push back. Maybe Borklesnout is harder to impress than other cats, and the party will have to try harder to win her over. Pacing is a delicate art, but the gist of it is to not let things go on too short or too long, so just trust your gut.

A final note: my group not only befriended Vlad, but convinced him to let them ride him out of the house. If your players do something like this, make sure to celebrate it. I improvised a line about how impressed the cats were that the party could make Vlad bend to their will. If I could go back, I would also have made Vlad friendly to the other cats, grooming them gently. My point is, if you're a beginning GM, remember that your job is to fill in the cracks in this outline (or recreate it altogether). Bottom line: have fun. It's Cats. It's meant to be stupid, silly, and ridiculous. Have a good time.

Back to the homepage (where you can find everything!)