Some movie strive to play on your heartstrings. Others try to impress you with big ideas. Some want to make you laugh or be afraid or feel alone. And some movies just want spectacle. Snakes on a Plane is this last kind of movie. The title tells you everything you need to know: there's a plane, and there are snakes on it. And while some games also vary in aim--some emotional, some intellectual, some instinctual--spectacle is not a bad thing to base a game on. In this one-shot, the players will have to survive a deadly plane ride, inspired by a movie so bad it's almost good.
I normally aim to create one-shots that are pretty family-friendly so that anyone can play them. But for this one-shot, I allowed a bit of profanity but generally kept the rest of it clean. To play this one-shot, just follow the narration and directions below, and you can give your players the plane ride of their lives.
Rules:
Players must create a character, including their name and choosing one skill from the list below.
The skills:
- Nerves of Steel - When others would be defeated by a snake, you stand resolute. You can survive four snakebites and live, dying on the fifth snakebite instead.
- Weapons Training - When others would struggle to use a weapon correctly, you excel at handling weapons. If a player wants to attack a snake with a weapon, they can roll a d6--a roll of 5 or higher means striking the snake. But with Weapons Training, a roll of 3 or higher will result in striking the snake.
- Brute Strength - When others lack the power to deal with snakes unarmed, you use your muscles to crush snakes. If a player wants to kill a snake while unarmed, they can roll a d6--a roll of 5 or higher means they can kill the snake. But with Brute Strength, a roll of 3 or higher means killing the snake by smashing it.
- Flight Simulator Experience - When others do not know how to fly a plane, your experience allows you step up. If a player wants to pilot the plane, they can roll a d6--a roll of 5 or higher means successfully executing an aerial maneuver/landing. But with Flight Simulator Experience, a roll of 3 or higher will successfully pilot the plane.
Players have one round of combat (every player takes one turn) to dispatch a snake before it randomly strikes a player. Each snake has its own specific penalties. A player can be bitten by a snake twice and survive with only the penalties, but if any player is bitten by snakes three times, they die and are unable to complete the adventure.
Optional Rule: Any time a snake appears, players must roll to react before the snake can act. "Nerves of Steel" improves the chances of success.
The One-Shot:
[narration in italics]
You're out riding your dirtbike through the hills and trails of Hawaii. It's beautiful: the sights, the sounds, even the smell of incoming monsoons and the plants around you. You race up and down the countryside, leaving the scenery behind as quickly as you surge ahead to new sights. You're almost halfway out of gas--time to take a break and head back to town. You park your bike and look around. You can't believe your vacation is almost over; you head back to L.A. tomorrow. You try to focus on the vistas around you and ignore the encroaching deadline.
Suddenly, you hear a pained cry. You wheel around and squint to make out the writhing shape in the middle distance. It's a man tied up, suspended upside down. You instinctively walk towards him to help, but before you can get close, two beefy guys with assault rifles come out of the foliage and stand around the hanging man. Then a third man, this one with a baseball bat and a spotless white suit, follows from the foliage. He begins to speak to the hanging man. It's hard to make out the details, but you hear the man with the baseball bat call the hanging man "Prosecutor" and the hanging man answers the man with the baseball bat, calling him "Eddie Kim." It strikes you suddenly: you thought you recognized the man with the bat. He's one of the most dangerous men in organized crime. Before this realization can sink in, the men stop talking, and Kim smashes the prosecutor in the face repeatedly. Even Kim's henchmen cringe at the ferocity of the beating. Soon, the prosecutor isn't moving, but Kim continues to strike him. Finally, a henchman places a hand on Kim's shoulder. Kim collects himself, strikes the prosecutor one more time, and they turn to leave. But then the other henchman points in your direction. They rise their rifles. You turn and run.
You're back on your dirtbike. You tear away, driving faster than you feel safe doing, but it's that or face the henchmen. You take a circuitous route to throw them off your trail, and when you feel you've lost them, you return to your hotel. You double-check the door is locked and try to lay low.
A few hours pass. There's a knock on your door. You cautiously check the peep hole and see a looming man dressed in black. You watch for a moment, and he suddenly looks impatient. "I can see your shadow in the peephole. Just open up. It's for your safety."
The players may decide to let him in or not. If they let him in, jump to the second next narration below. If they hesitate to let him in:
"Time's a-wastin'! Kim's men will be here any minute. You might want to let me in before that happens."
If the players let him in, jump to the next narration. If they still don't let him in:
The man outside pounds on the door. "A grey sedan just pulled in. Looks like Kim's men. Last chance." But before you can do anything, a gunshot from outside sounds. There's a slamming against your door, then another, and then the whole door falls in, the man on top of it. "Let's go! Out the bathroom window! Go to the black car!"
If the players let him in before this point:
You swing the door open. The man in black sizes you up and hurries in, locking the door behind him. "They're coming for you. Let's go. Out the bathroom window." He hurries you to the bathroom and covers you while you climb outside. "The black car right there," he says.
Both possibilities meet here:
You rush to the car and jump inside. The man is steps behind you. He turns the ignition, throws the car in reverse, and speeds out of the parking lot. As he puts distance between you and Kim's men, he extends a hand. "Agent Neville Flynn, FBI. I've been assigned to you because Eddie Kim wants you dead. You saw something you're not supposed to see, right? It's my job to get you to L.A. so you can testify against Kim." Agent Flynn is driving more slowly now, but he never seemed shaken up to begin with. "You are gonna testify."
The players may agree or disagree. If they agree to testify:
"Good. There was only one right choice. Let's bring down Eddie Kim."
If the players don't want to testify:
"Funny thing about that: there's only one right choice. Kim is a monster. You're the only one who can bring him down. And officially, you're in FBI custody, so if I say you're going to L.A., that's where you're going."
Both possibilities meet here:
Agent Flynn drives along the outskirts of town and you end up on a service road to the airport. He drives directly onto the runway and to a large passenger plane. You see an electronic sign over the gate, which reads "South Pacific Airlines Flight 121." Baggage handlers and runway directors mill around the plane, and Agent Flynn gestures for you to get out of the car. "We're going to get on that plane and take you directly to a safehouse, where you'll stay until the hearing. You'll want to be fresh when we get there, so try to get some sleep on the plane."
Agent Flynn guides you onto the plane and begins to explain to the flight attendants that he is commandeering the upper level of the plane--first class. The flight attendants have sour faces, knowing that disappointing every member of first class will not set a good tone for the trip. Flynn marches you up the stairs, sits down next to you, and sits silently.
Over the next half-hour, the plane is filled with passengers. The flight taxis, takes off, and reaches cruising altitude. You hear the passengers below begin to mill around. You nod off a few times, but you're shaken awake by a patch of turbulence every time. Then, suddenly, a shriek from downstairs. Agent Flynn sits upright. Another shriek. He looks at you sternly: "Don't move." He disappears down the stairs. More shrieks, and more, until the whole plane seems to be screaming. "Help!" comes a cry from someone downstairs.
The players may choose to go downstairs and investigate. They may also choose to stay upstairs. If they stay upstairs:
The screams continue. The plane pitches to the left, then sharply to the right. You are knocked to the ground, and as you regain your footing, you can see a snake climbing the last stair. It slithers toward you, gaining ground.
The players must defeat the snake. There are improvised weapons they can use: a firefighter's axe, a metal rod loosely attached to the overhead compartments, and a fire extinguisher. If the snake is not killed by the time all the players have taken an action, it bites one of the players at random, causing them to take a -1 to all rolls for the next three rolls. The snake attacks again if it is still alive after two complete rounds. Once they defeat the snake:
The snake lies dead on the floor. The screams from below continue. "Get down here!" comes a shout from Agent Flynn.
When the players go downstairs:
You arrive downstairs to find chaos. Passengers are screaming and pushing through the aisles. Dead bodies sit in their seats, with wounds from snakebites covering them. And all around you, dozens, maybe hundreds of snakes. They are all sizes and colors and shapes. It's a nightmare. You can see that many of the passengers have collected at the other end of the plane, at the rear of the aircraft. Agent Flynn is among them, and he waves you towards them. "Get over here, quick!" he calls.
Between you and Agent Flynn are snakes attacking passengers, leis, and anything that moves. Most of the snakes seem distracted by the other passengers, but a large cobra is coming down the aisle directly at you. If you can get past it, you can make it to the other passengers and Agent Flynn.
The players must defeat the cobra. The players may all take an action: if the cobra is not killed by the time a round has passed, it strikes one of the players at random. If a player is struck by the cobra, they take a -2 to all rolls for the next 5 rolls. This effect is continued for each round the players do not kill the cobra. When they have defeated the cobra:
You have dispatched the cobra and dashed to safety with the other passengers. The plane dips violently and rights itself a few seconds later. A voice crackles over the loudspeaker: "Folks, sorry for the turbulence, but you're not going to believe this: there was just something here in the cockpit." Also from within the cockpit, you hear another voice: "What was it?" The pilot's voice returns: "It's a goddamn snake, honey." Agent Flynn looks frustrated. He pushes a button on the intercom and says, "Yeah, captain, I think we all know that. How much longer 'til we can land?" The pilot responds, "Two hours 'til L.A."
Agent Flynn looks around at all the passengers. "Okay, folks, let's get everyone on the same page. Someone has smuggled a collection of snakes onto this plane. I believe that it's an effort to kill witnesses against organized crime." As he says this, he makes an effort to not look at you. "Does anyone have any idea how that might have happened?" He looks to the flight attendants, who all seem at a loss. A timid voice from the back of the group speaks up: "I'm a herpetologist. A reptile expert. I have a question. I noticed that there are several constrictors on this flight, and most of them too small to harm a human being. If they were trying to kill someone, wouldn't they stick with venomous snakes?"
A look of puzzlement goes over many of the passengers faces. But before anyone can respond, several ceiling tiles give way, and a 20-foot boa constrictor falls into the center of the group. It gathers itself into a striking pose and launches itself at the herpetologist, swallowing most of his head in one bite. It wraps itself around him and begins to squeeze. "Quick, while it's distracted!" shouts Agent Flynn, who pulls out a taser and begins to shock the boa constrictor. But it barely seems to register with the massive snake.
The players must now defeat the boa constrictor. It is too busy dealing with the herpetologist to fight back against the players, but they will need to deal enough damage to it to kill it twice over in order to defeat it. Once the players have dealt with the boa constrictor:
"We're going to need to be more organized if we're going to get out of this alive," says Agent Flynn. "What can we use as weapons?" A few passengers reach into their bags and pull out potential weapons: a golf club, a half-size samurai sword, a collapsible pointed staff used to pick up garbage. Meanwhile, the flight attendants combine a few of the items in their supplies and create a makeshift flamethrower as well as sticks with glass shivs attached. The more bold of the passengers volunteer to take these weapons once you've taken your pick of the collection.
The plane begins to dip--slowly at first, then ever more until it feels as though you're falling right out of the sky. Agent Flynn races to the intercom and calls out, "Captain? Captain! What's going on?" There is no answer. Agent Flynn turns and looks at you. "We need to get up there, and now. Come with me."
Agent Flynn pushes past the barrier that the passengers have built to keep out the snakes, slaying any snake within reach. You're most of the way to the cockpit when a red-white-and-black striped snake slithers out into the aisle and towards you. You hear the approaching sound of a rattling behind you, and glancing back, you see a rattlesnake about fifteen feet away and getting closer. Flynn is at the cockpit door, gesturing you on.
The players must now defeat the striped snake to move forward. If the players defeat the striped snake before the end of a complete round, they can move on without having to deal with the rattlesnake. If they haven't killed the striped snake before the end of a round, it strikes one player at random, causing them to take a -1 on all rolls for the next 5 rolls. This repeats if it is still alive after each successive round. If the players haven't made it to the cockpit in two complete rounds, they must also defeat the rattlesnake. For each round that the rattlesnake is not killed (only if it reaches the players), it strikes one player at random, causing a -2 to all rolls for the next 4 rolls. When the players have made it to the cockpit:
Agent Flynn is beating on the door and trying unsuccessfully to open it. You make it to him, check that there are no snakes hot on your tail, and turn your attention to the door. Agent Flynn throws himself against it, and it almost gives way. He plants his feet and tries again, and the door goes swinging wide open. The Captain's body slumps over, snakebites covering his neck and face. Suddenly, from under the Captain's prone body, a black mamba coils and prepares to strike at you.
The players must now defeat the black mamba. For every round they do not kill the black mamba, it strikes one player at random, causing them to take a -2 on all rolls for the next 4 rolls. Remember to have Agent Flynn take a turn for this encounter. When the players have dealt with the black mamba:
The plane is still falling. No one is at the controls. You need to right the plane or you'll crash in the Pacific long before you see California. Agent Flynn looks hopelessly at the controls. "You got any ideas?" he asks.
The players must now correct the course of the plane. "Flight Simulator Experience" will help their odds considerably. For the act of levelling the plane, treat a d6 roll of 4 or higher count as a success--the difficulty of landing the plane will be higher, but this challenge just needs the plane to not crash in the ocean. If a player rolls a failure on this check (including if that failure is the result of a subtracted score), the plane should experience incredible turbulence until a success roll fixes it. If the players collectively fail at the roll 3 times, Agent Flynn will take the controls and level out the plane.
The plane is flying safely again towards L.A. One of the flight attendants, a middle-aged woman with a kind smile who you heard say was flying her last flight, has made it to the cockpit. Behind her is a trail of dead snakes. She looks at you and Agent Flynn. "We have another problem," she says. "The air isn't flowing anymore. We have another hour until L.A., and we'll run out of air halfway there. Someone needs to fix it. The control panel is in the base level of the plane. Can you do it?"
The players may now discuss plans to restart the air conditioning. The flight attendant offers the following directions:
"First, you descend from the cockpit to the base level. Then you need to get to the rear of the plane. Finally, there's a big control panel. You need to press the green 'cycle' button twice, and then a blue light will come on when the air is going again. Here," she says, and hands you a flashlight.
The players must now descend into the base level of the plane:
You lower yourself down into the darkened underbelly of the plane. It's a narrow corridor that your flashlight just barely illuminates. You walk for what feels like forever, checking the ground all around you for snakes as you go. You reach the large control panel, double-press the green button marked "cycle," and wait for the blue light to go on. A sound behind you draws your attention. You spin and see two identical water moccasins with their mouths open and ready to strike.
The players must now defeat both water moccasins. For each round that either water moccasin is alive, they randomly strike a player, causing them to take a -2 on all rolls for the next 3 rolls. The same player can be bitten by both water moccasins if the dice indicate it. Once both water moccasins are dispatched:
The water moccasins dealt with, you turn back to the control panel. The small blue light is shining in the dark. You again cautiously make it back to the cockpit. Agent Flynn helps pull you up out of the guts of the plane and claps you on the back. "Alright, we're almost to L.A. And you know what? Enough is enough. I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!" A cheer goes up from outside the cockpit, and you notice that the remaining passengers and flight attendants have gathered around, tending to their wounds and taking refuge from the snakes.
"We have some bad news, folks. Our Captain died. We're going to have to land this plane. Can anybody do that?" There is dead silence from the passengers.
The players can volunteer to land the plane if they so choose. If it is clear that none of the players intend to try landing the plane:
The flight attendant from before, who is on her last flight, speaks up. "I've been training for my pilot's license for a few weeks. I don't know if I can land a plane--I've never tried--but I'll try if no one else will." She straightens her uniform and crowds into the cockpit, tentatively taking a seat behind the controls. "Just keep me safe until we've landed."
If this is the route your players choose, have them dispatch two more snakes before she can land the plane. These two snakes, which come out of the control panel itself are a black-and-brown European viper (-1 to all rolls for the next 3 rolls if struck) and a small green snake called a boomslang (-2 to all rolls for the next 2 rolls if struck). These snakes will try to strike the flight attendant before striking the players; if she is bitten twice, she dies, and the players have to land the plane anyway.
If the players choose to fly the plane themselves, they will also have to deal with the European viper and the boomslang, which will target the player who is flying the plane. If the player flying the plane dies, the other players will have to land the plane. The snakes will continue to strike at whoever flies the plane until both are killed.
With the snakes dispatched, you lower the plane towards the runway below. You're coming in fast, and Agent Flynn is bracing himself next to you for a harsh landing.
The players must now roll to land the plane. They must have a 5 or higher on a d6 roll, but "Flight Simulator Experience" will lower that threshold for success to a 3 or higher. If the piloting roll fails:
The plane hits the ground hard and bounces back up. When you hit the ground again, half of the landing gear rips away. You slide hard against the tarmac, and the plane violently lurches to a halt. The passengers in the plane behind you are uneasy, some moaning in pain, though from the rough landing or a snakebite, it's hard to say.
If the piloting succeeds:
The plane touches gently down and glides over the tarmac. You apply the brakes carefully, and it slows to a stop.
Both possibilities meet here:
Swarms of people surge toward the plane. You see ambulances, squad cars, animal control vehicles, and helicopters surrounding the plane. Looking back into the plane, you see the flight attendants pop the inflatable emergency exit slides and usher people down them. Some of the more intrepid passengers stand watch over the blockades they've put between the snakes and the passengers, making sure that no one is hurt as they make their escape.
Agent Flynn and you are the last to go. He places a hand warmly on your shoulder. "Snakes on a plane, huh? What'll they think of next?"
- - - - -
The Following Day
The news is covered with it. Every local and national station is talking about the flight. They all have their own cheesy story titles: "Fright Flight," "Dead Air," "Venom in the Skies" . . . It seems to make the whole thing a little more distant. Did that all really happen? Could it have?
There's a knock on your door. "It's me," says Agent Flynn's voice from behind the door, swinging it open just a crack. "We leave for court in ten minutes. You ready?"
Agent Flynn drives you to the Los Angeles County Courthouse. He guides you inside, and you see that face again: Eddie Kim. It's like it was a moment ago that he was beating a man to death for doing less than you're doing. You expected him to look a bit perturbed that his plane failed. Or maybe he knew that putting a bunch of snakes on a plane wasn't exactly a surefire way to kill just one person. Maybe his desperation is over, and he's accepting that he has to face justice.
The court is called to order. The judge begins to speak, already making it clear that he intends to send Kim away for a long time. Kim smiles a bit. He reaches down under the table and lifts a briefcase. Simultaneously, five or six other men in court place briefcases on their laps. The judge keeps talking, and then all the briefcases are open. Each man takes a syringe from the case, pressing down on a divider inside the briefcases. "What on earth is that?" demands the judge. The men each quietly inject themselves with a fluorescent solution. Each man, including Kim, stands. "Antivenom," he says, defiant. Kim walks calmly to the judge's bench and sets the briefcase down before him. A blue-and-yellow snake strikes and tightens its mouth around the judge's throat. The other men with the briefcases rush the back of the courtroom and block the doors. A few dozen snakes pour from the briefcases and begin to attack people. The courtroom is pandemonium. The judge gasps his last breaths: "Snakes, I sustain."
Well that was pretty silly. This is the only one of the one-shots I've written where there's a real chance that a player can die. I thought that fit since about 80% of the passengers in the movie die. And as per usual, I've tried to mock the bad parts while celebrating the good parts. This is definitely a weird one, but then, so is the movie.
That's all for now. Coming soon: the value of reviewing previous sessions, a profile of the music in my homebrew setting, and an argument for convenient storytelling. Until next time, happy gaming!
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