This short story takes place during Nobody Knows Me. You can read the first chapter of the novel here!
"Ain't nobody who can get away all the way clean," protested Oslo. "It's just a fact."
"It's not a fact," said Candace.
"You're just proud of yourself 'cause you never been caught at your craft," retorted Oslo.
Candace made a sour face but said nothing.
"That's what I thought," said Oslo snidely.
Candace went expressionless but did not turn away.
"It is possible, though," said Asp gently. "She's done it, and so have I."
"For now," said Oslo heavily. "You ain't been caught yet."
Asp gritted her teeth to avoid saying something more. Then, she decided to anyway. "A bad fisherman thinks fish are too slippery to be caught."
Jehosaphat, Annabel, and Candace stifled laughter. Oslo's eyes widened in rage.
"You're such a good fisherman, Asp, why do you go catch us a big, slippery fish? Show us how it's done?" he said through clenched teeth.
Asp sighed. She had wanted to defend Candace, and Candace had been wise enough to leave well enough alone. But she had committed.
"Fine," she said pleasantly. "I'll go net us a score." She leapt from the couch down to the floor and strode out, the gang cheering her as she went.
She walked out into the city of Strey and looked around. This is a silly situation, she thought as her temper cooled. What am I supposed to do to prove myself right? She sighted a musical group playing loudly on a street corner, a throng of audience members looking on. Picking some pockets would be too small time. Gotta reach back to my old solo plans. Maybe the fiddle game? Just need to find an old beat up instrument. She noticed an ignored tambourine lying behind the band. That should do.
She approached the band and its audience, then headed around them in a long arc before settling in behind the performers. She looked away from them and slowly backed up towards them. In a few moments, she was right next to the performers. She swept her dress out and crouched as it settled, the hem of the dress covering the tambourine neatly. She grabbed the tambourine through the dress and stood carefully, walking away from the band. She ducked into an alleyway as she walked away, slipping the tambourine into her pack.
Not too bad, she thought, smiling.
---
"I'm so sorry, miss, I am truly embarrassed," Asp said to the waitress. "I think my coinpurse is missing, maybe stolen."
The waitress, a middle-aged Ronan'elwoman, frowned. "You mean you can't pay?"
Asp shook her head. "No, I can pay. I have money at home. Can I come right back with the money?"
"Look," said the Ronan’el woman, "this is a nice establishment. People like you try to steal from us every day. I wont--"
"It's not like that!" interrupted Asp. "I really can pay! Look, I have an old tambourine that I play; it's how I make my money. I need it, but you can hold it til I come back with the money."
The Ronan'el considered the tambourine. "You'll come right back?"
"Two minutes, I swear." Asp suppressed a smile. So far, so good.
"Okay, two minutes," said the Ronan'el. She held her hand out for the tambourine.
"Be careful," said Asp as she handed it over. "It's my livelihood." She nodded and scurried out of the restaurant and into a nearby alley. It was dark now, and she could barely see herself in the low light. She slipped off Penelope's green-and-yellow dress, Gilbert's vest and tie underneath. She carefully applied the fake goatee and added the goggles to her head before leaving the alley and sweeping back into the restaurant.
"Good evening, ma'am!" he chirped. "What's the special tonight?"
The Ronan'elwoman looked at him blithely. "Fish soup with peppers and newtkin spices."
"Dreadful stuff, fish," said Gilbert disappointedly. "Say, is that an early era tambourine?" he added, pointing to the battered tambourine.
"I don't know exactly," said the Ronan'elwoman. "It was left here."
"I would love to buy it," said Gilbert hungrily.
"It's not mine to sell," said the waitress, her tone final.
"That's a damn shame," said Gilbert pointedly. "I would have paid a few hundred crowns for a tambourine of that ilk."
The Ronan'el's eyes flashed. "How many hundred?"
Asp suppressed a smile again. "Three, maybe four. May I see it?" asked Gilbert.
The Ronan'el passed the old tambourine to Gilbert. He examined it, turning it over, feeling the taut skin of the drum of it, lightly shaking it to hear the chiming.
"It's in excellent condition for its age. You said it wasn't yours--could you buy it from them so I can buy it from you?" Gilbert looked only at the tambourine, but watched the waitress in his peripheral vision.
The Ronan'el swallowed hard and smiled. "I could do that," she said. "Come back in about ten minutes."
"I'll be right back," said Gilbert, touching his coinpurse lightly. He strode out of the restaurant, waving goodbye as he went.
He cut a path back to the same alley and stripped away the goggles and goatee before donning the dress again. Asp took a deep breath, collected herself, and headed back into the restaurant.
"I'm back!" she cried. "Sorry about the coinpurse thing; I just don't know what happened to it. Anyway, here's what I owe you--can I get the tambourine back?"
The Ronan'el smiled predatorily. "Actually, I came to like it very much. I'd like to buy it."
Asp feigned shock. "Buy it? But it's my only way to make money?"
"Well," said the Ronan'el slowly, "I could make it worth your while."
It's done, thought Asp. She's in it for sure. Don't question her interest. Now it's just bargaining.
"Could you, now?" said Asp doubtfully. "What would you offer?"
"5 crowns ," said the Ronan'el.
Holy fuck. I've never been offered that little for this. Time to counter.
"Miss, I think you've misunderstood. I have no source of income until I find a new instrument. That could take a while. At least pay me enough to survive the deal."
"10 crowns, then."
"I think we're still at odds here," said Asp sadly. "I'm afraid that I'm not interested in selling." She turned to leave and made it to the door before the Ronan'el called after her.
"25 crowns," the Ronan'el said. "I can't offer you more."
Asp smiled, erased the smile, and turned to face the waitress. "Now I believe we're talking."
---
"But nobody even knows if that's true," said Dancer, exasperated.
"But it could be, and that's what matters," said Oslo.
The door slammed open, Asp standing in the doorway. "Forget about whatever argument you're having!" she declared. "I settled our last one." She waltzed to the table in the middle of the room and dropped a coinpurse loudly onto it.
There was a silent moment before Oslo opened the bag and poured out a pile of crowns. He blasted a long, low whistle.
"You were gone an hour, Asp," said Jehosaphat as though she were being ridiculous.
"I just played both parts in the fiddle game for this," said Asp plainly. "One more job for which I've never been caught."
"I'm as impressed as anyone," said Oslo. "But you simply can't prove that something is impossible--only that it hasn't happened yet."
Asp groaned. "Shoulda known," she said. "Bring in enough to feed us for months, and all you get is a scold."
"Hey now," said Oslo harshly, "don't get nasty. You only wanted to prove me wrong because you want to be different from the rest of us."
"I'm not different from Candace," she said. "She hasn't been caught either."
Candace blushed, and Oslo laughed. "She ain't been caught stealing, but she's been caught," he said. "Remember, you're the only one who's clean here."
Asp looked sadly at Candace. Oh, Candy, I've been too much in my own head. Now I look like an asshole. Then her mind shifted. "Isn't it possible that you only want to prove me wrong so that you don't have to feel like I'm better at taking care of myself?" She stared daggers back at Oslo.
Oslo's face reddened. "Talk a walk," he said viciously.
"I will, thank you very much," said Asp, and she stormed from the room.
---
Asp sat on a low brick fence, her feet dangling. Stupid bullshit Oslo. Stupid bullshit pride. Stupid bullshit period. She stared up at the night sky, watching the stars twinkle and shine.
"Honey, you okay?" Candace's voice surprised Asp. She looked down to meet Candace's gaze.
Asp blushed. "Yeah." She paused. "No." She looked away. "I don't know. I just . . . I wanted to stand up for you. He talks to us like we're naughty children, and we're better than that."
Candace rubbed Asp's back softly. "Yeah. But we have each other, and our life is pretty good. And I wouldn't trade it for anything."
Asp smiled and leaned against Candace. "You're right. You're always right," she added playfully. "Sometimes Oslo gets in my head, and I just go crazy. Why does someone so stupid get in my head so much?"
Candace smiled weakly in sympathy. "Smart things trickle out of our minds all the time. Stupid things get caught. Think of all the good advice you've ignored and the bad advice you've listened to."
"Good point." Asp looked back up at the stars. "So, how did you explain your coming to find me?"
Candace laughed. "I said I was going out for some air."
Asp cringed. "It's hard to call you Candace in front of everyone. My mind wants to call you Candy."
Candace smiled widely. "Oh, honey, please don't call me Candy in front of them. I'll never hear the end of it."
Asp feigned a smile. "Yeah, you know I can be careful."
Candace looked over at her and raised her eyebrows. "Does it not feel worth it anymore?"
"No!" Asp practically shouted without thinking, then lowered her tone. "Of course it is. It would just be nice if I didn't have to play the gang."
"You're used to playing people," said Candace incredulously. "How do you think I feel?"
"You think it's easy for me? They're my friends, Candy! I am not a natural born liar."
"A natural born liar could choose to stop. You learned to lie by choice."
"It wasn't a choice!" Asp's voice rose. "It was lie or starve! And I don't lie to you--why do you always take it so personally?"
Candace closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "You know," she said slowly, "I think I actually do need some air." She touched Asp lightly on the shoulder, rose from the low wall, and stalked off into the night.
Asp sat sadly on the wall, humming the tune the band had played as she stole the tambourine.
---
The door creaked just slightly as Asp made her way back into the estate. It was after midnight now, and the place was otherwise silent. Asp slipped through the halls and up the stairs back to her room.
"Welcome back," she said to herself in a decent facsimile of Candace's voice. She shuddered at the sound.
"It's good to be here," she said in her own voice. It was rare that she got to speak in her own voice when she was working, so she often savored the experience.
She lay back on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Everything I own is right here, she thought. Is that a good idea? What if something happened? She frowned and looked at the door, thinking of Candace across the hall. What if something has happened?
She slipped off Penelope's dress and into her purple nightgown. She lay on the bed and tried to relax, but couldn't. How often am I going to storm out of this place?
The door cracked open. Candace's white hair poked through the doorway, her face following immediately. "Can I come in?" she asked.
Asp nodded and scooted over on the bed.
"I'm sorry, honey," said Candace. "I forget sometimes that we've settled all this a dozen times over. It's just a hard thing when we live the way we do."
"I'm sorry too, Candy. We're better than this."
"Yeah we are!" said Candace playfully. "You know, I was thinking. Can I share my idea with you?"
Asp nodded happily. "I love your ideas."
Candace breathed in and looked Asp in the eye. "You think of yourself as totally different from everyone else. So you have to fight to keep it that way. But maybe you're a little like us all and a little different too, and you don't need to fight for that. Right?"
Asp smiled. "Right. Now come here--I want to be just like myself tonight."
Candace grinned. "Just the way I like it."
You can read more short stories here!
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