Over the DM's Shoulder

Tuesday, May 7, 2024

Chapter Eighteen: Putting Words in My Mouth

You can read the previous chapter here


“Do you know the time in Hammergrad?” asked Asp. 


“Not off the top of my head,” replied the dwarf. “There’s a ship leaving for the Myriad soon, though.” 


“Thanks,” said Asp, bowing. She could feel that her eyes had sunken into her face, and the dwarf’s concerned look reinforced that. She walked several paces up to a newtkin woman. “Do you have the time in Hammergrad?”


The newtkin frowned. “I haven’t. Good luck to you.” 


“Thanks,” said Asp, trying not to frown back. This is stupid. I don’t even have a safe place to do ash right now. She approached a bearded human. “Do you have the time in Hammergrad?” she repeated. 


The human narrowed his eyes at her. “I have half a mind to report you for asking that,” he said, thumbing towards a guard twenty feet away. 


Asp backed up, hands raised. “No need, no need,” she said in a tight voice. “I’ve changed my mind anyway.”  She turned and ran from the area and into the city’s center. 


Can I go back to daily service? thought Asp. Is Candy okay? Is it safe yet? Will it ever be safe again? She tried to wander aimlessly, but she ended up standing in front of the side door of the estate. She stared at the door. Thanks to Melwi, I’ll disappear when I approach the door. She thought of Oslo. But will I reappear? She gritted her teeth, opened the door, and stepped inside. 


It was quiet. She crept to the door to the living room and peeked inside. Jehosaphat was knitting in the corner, and Kyrn lay snoozing on the couch. Asp snuck into the room. 


“Hey Jehosaphat,” she said in earnest sweetness. 


Jehosaphat started, pulling a needle too far in one direction. He looked up at Asp. He smiled, but his eyes looked sad. “Hey Asp.” 


“How bad is it?” asked Asp. 


Jehosaphat started to speak and stopped. He let out a loud belch. “Not as bad as you seem to think,” he said after a moment. 


Asp narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?” 


Jehosaphat shrugged and fixed his needles. “The gang’s not mad at you. Not most of us, anyway.” 


“You two are so cute,” said Kyrn, stirring on the couch. “How long?” she asked. 


Asp blushed. “I’ll let Candace answer that one,” she said, looking away.


“That long?” asked Kyrn, chuckling. “Good for you.” 


“I knew you could fool us,” said Jehosaphat, smiling like a young boy, “but Candace?” He laughed and shook his head. “I didn’t think she could keep a secret if she wanted to.” 


“You said ‘most of us,’” said Asp, returning to the matter at hand. “Who’s pissed?”


Jehosaphat grimaced. “Well, Gunther has had some choice statements about women who like women,” he began, ridicule in his voice. “And Oslo doesn’t like the gang to be involved like this.” He licked his lips. “But the rest of us? We think you’re sweet. Just maybe a sailor bar wasn’t the place to announce it?” His tone was playful, not reproachful. 


“How’s Candace?” Asp asked, trying to sound calm. 


“She’s about as drunk as I’ve ever seen her,” said Kyrn. “Oslo’s talking to her now.” 


Asp swallowed hard. “They’re upstairs?” 


“Yeah,” said Jehosaphat. “Everyone else is still out.” 


“You two didn’t want to keep partying?” asked Asp, trying to infuse them with some energy. 


“The life of the party had left,” said Kyrn, adopting an exaggerated sad look.  


Asp smiled. So I deal with Oslo, and then maybe it’s okay? Oh, he better be nice to Candy.


Footsteps came down the stairs. Asp turned to the doorway to see Oslo sidle in. He noticed Asp and nodded to her. “You’ve returned to the roost,” he said. 


Asp settled in and braced herself. Just gotta get through this. “So I have,” she said, settling on a neutral tone. 


“I’m not going to say what you think I’m going to say,” he started. “Candace told me how long this has been going on, and while I don’t like being lied to, if you’ve been together two years and it hasn’t been an issue, I suppose I can’t claim that it will.” 


“Two years?” said Kyrn, disbelieving. “Since you started with us?” 


Asp smiled, her shoulders up around her ears. “More or less.” 


“But you two hated each other at first,” said Kyrn, disbelieving. “Or was that an act?”


“No act,” said Asp, smiling despite the tension. “We just changed each other’s minds.” 


Oslo made a sour face. “I can work around it, but I don’t have to like it. Please spare me the happy little details.” He took a deep breath. “You’ve broken a rule, Asp. I’m hard-pressed to not to look at it that way.” 


“It’s not a rule you communicated until long after we were together,” protested Asp. 


“And you expect me to believe that you wouldn’t have gotten near her if I had told you not to?” Oslo asked. 


I feel like I’m being interrogated. But something is off . . . Wait–Oslo can’t really do anything to me. He needs me, he needs my heist, and he needs Candace. Let’s change tactics. 


“You’re implying, Oslo, that this is part of a bigger problem. That I don’t listen.” Asp kept her voice as steady as possible. “You want Jehosaphat and Kyrn and me to think that the problem is something Candace and I have done, more specifically that I have done.” She smiled as she finished speaking. “And the fact of the matter is, the problem is that Candace got a little too drunk. Our gang isn’t in danger. Our job isn’t in danger. Our home isn’t in danger. You’re just pissed at me because I’m hard for you to control.”


Kyrn coughed, trying to cover a laugh. Jehosaphat noticed that his mouth was hanging open and closed it. Oslo was still. 


After a moment, he spoke. “You misunderstand, Asp,” he said, a snarl on his lips. “I don’t need to control you.” 


Asp’s mind raced. “No . . .” she moaned.


Oslo smiled. 


Asp bolted out of the seat she had just taken and raced up the stairs. She tore down the hallway. Standing outside Asp’s room was a pair of black deerskin boots with intricate black lace. Tears in her eyes, Asp pounded on Candace’s door. 


“Candy! Open the door! Please, Candy, talk to me!” she cried. 


There was no answer from inside. 


“Candy, listen!” she said through the door. “You have to listen to me.”


“I don’t have to do anything, Asp,” replied Candace.


“That’s the thing!” yelled Asp. “Oslo is trying to make you do what he wants.” 


“Sounds like someone else I know,” spat Candace. 


“Candy, at least look me in the eye,” said Asp, pleading. 


“Asp, we can talk in the morning,” said Candace with finality. 


“Candy . . .” said Asp in a low voice to the door, “I love you. Don’t do this.” 


“Good night, Asp,” Candace said.


And no matter what more Asp had to say, Candace remained silent. 


-


Asp was up first the next morning. She was dressed not as Delia or Penelope or Gilbert, but in the nightgown that she and Candace had come to think of as Asp’s own costume. She sat down in her doorway and faced Candace’s door, and she waited. 


She waited for an hour and grew restless. Another hour later, she was growing panicked. By an hour after sunrise, she was beside herself. Just as it was becoming too much to bear, Candace’s door swung open. Asp had placed the boots directly in front of Candace’s door, and Candace stepped around them and out into the hall as if she didn’t see the boots or Asp at all. 


“Good morning,” said Asp, jumping to her feet. 


Candace looked at her with a blank expression. “Morning.” 


“You said we could talk?” said Asp. She tried to seem calm. 


“We might as well,” said Candace, shrugging. “What is it?” 


Asp gestured into her room. “Wanna come in?” 


“Not really,” said Candace. Her voice was flat.


Asp winced. “Okay, so let’s talk. What did Oslo tell you that has you treating me like I’ve hurt you?” 


Candace looked angry, then neutral. “He told me some things.” She gestured into Asp’s room. “Like about your hidden money.” 


Asp’s mind flashed to the mannequins’ secret compartments. How did he know? Has he been in my room? Or is he just assuming I have something hidden away?


“Hidden money?” repeated Asp. “Is that what this is about? Money?” She held her hands out before herself and realized she’d seen Oslo do the same before. “You can have all my money. Candy, you know the only thing I’ve spent that money on is things for you.” 


Candace looked softer for a moment, then set her jaw. “It’s the principle, though.” 


That’s not Candace, she thought. Principle talk? That’s Oslo. 


“What principle? Candy, I’ve been in your bedroom twice, and we’ve been together two years. We’re expert criminals in a gang. We’ve been living in secret for literally years now. We don’t exactly have the most ordinary relationship.” Asp worked hard to prevent the tears from entering her voice, but she didn’t manage it. “Candy, why did you kiss me in the tavern last night?” 


Candace looked confused. “I told you why I kissed you right before I did,” she said as though it were beyond obvious. “Because I love you.” Her voice softened  as she finished speaking. 


“And I love you too,” gushed Asp. “And yet you’re acting like I did something to hurt you.” Rose brushed up against Asp’s leg, curling her tail around Asp’s thigh. “If you really believe I’ve hurt you, please tell me what I’ve done.” 


Candace shifted her weight to her other leg. She breathed out hard. “Did you have an affair with Annabel when you first started? Back when we were getting together?” 


Asp was stunned. She laughed. “Oslo told you that?” 


Candace closed her eyes in pain. “So it’s true?” she asked, her voice choked by a rising sob. 


Asp hugged her tight. Rose mewled beneath them. “It’s not true at all,” said Asp. “Can I tell you an embarrassing secret, Candy?” 


Candace wiped her eyes. “Yeah?”


“You’re the only person I’ve ever been with.” Asp’s voice was very quiet. 


“No,” said Candace in disbelief. “Really?” 


Asp held Candace tight. “It’s true.” She reached down and patted Rose. “And if I have any say in the matter, it’s going to stay that way.” 


Candace hugged her back. “Good,” she said in her playful tone. “I’m sorry I let Oslo get in my head.” 


Asp pulled back to meet her eyes. “Just, do me a favor, and just don’t believe anything he says about me.” 


Candace looked uncomfortable for a moment. “That’s the exact same thing he said about you.” 


Asp gave a pained smile. “Well, if you’ve gotta believe one of us, it might as well be the one you’re raising a cat with.”


Candace laughed. “No split custody for Rose,” she said happily, and Rose meowed her approval.  


-


“Okay, okay,” said Dancer, working himself up. Gunther held up two fingers. “Two words,” interpreted Dancer. Gunther flopped on the ground, pretending to choke, then lay still. 


“Dying?” guessed Dancer. 


Gunther motioned Dancer on. 


“Dead?” Dancer tried. 


Gunther pointed to Dancer in excitement. He climbed back to his feet and then mimed holding something in his hands, then letting it go.


“Fall?” guessed Annabel. 


“Spill?” tried Jehosaphat. 


“Drop!” cried Dancer. His eyes lit up. “Dead drop!”


Gunther pumped his fist. “Yes!” he yelled. “The Gunther-Dancer team is unstoppable.” The two slapped high fives. 


Asp and Candace walked into the room. Candace grabbed Asp’s hand as everyone looked at them. Gunther made a face, and Oslo simply looked away, but the rest of the gang hooted and hollered as they walked into the room. 


“Word has spread fast, you two,” said Annabel, smiling. “Two years? Really?” 


Asp chuckled, and Candace beamed. 


“So all those times that you two went out together to bring back drinks or food,” said Annabel, “were those dates?” 


Candace laughed. “Not exactly. But we get time when we can.” 


“Is that why you picked rooms next to each other?” asked Dancer. “Not to be too personal.” 


Asp laughed. “That was all Candace. Not a bad idea, though.” 


“Pretty filthy if you ask me,” muttered Gunther. 


“Well, it’s a good thing no one did,” said Jehosaphat. “And I have a sneaking suspicion that no one is ever going to ask you, so you better be prepared to keep that to yourself.”


Gunther gritted his teeth and sat in silence. 


“So is Rose, like, your baby?” asked Kyrn. 


Asp laughed and turned to Candace. She deferred. “Candy?”


Candy?” repeated Dancer. He looked at Candace. “You let her call you Candy?” 


Candace revealed a vicious smile. “Don’t get any big ideas,” she said, her jaw set. “And don’t let that name cross your lips again.” 


Dancer couldn’t contain his mirth. “Like the sugary stuff,” he said to Kyrn. “Candy.” 


“I said watch it,” said Candace with a mixture of playfulness and menace. 


“Not to interrupt the festivities,” said Oslo, tenting his fingertips, “but today we start planning the job. Let’s break for breakfast, and when we come back, we’re preparing for every possibility. Understood?” 


The gang nodded its assent. 


“Alright. Hour and a half, be back,” ordered Oslo. 


Candace and Asp exited the estate carefully and made their way to a favorite spot of theirs, an elven restaurant with a view of the public square. They walked inside and were greeted by a tall and spindly elven woman. 


“Good morning, Candace,” the elf said. “Good morning, Delia. Your usual spot is open, if that’s what you like?” 


“Yes please, Friella,” said Candace with a smile. “How’s your morning?” 


Friella led them to a small table by a large bay window. “Just fine,” she said, pulling out the chairs for Asp and Candace. “I love this time of year–you can just tell everything is about to bloom. Do you have a favorite flower?” she asked. 


“Violet,” said Delia. 


“Heather,” said Candace. 


Friella nodded, and her eyes were faraway. “There just isn’t a bad flower. Anyway, do you know what you’ll have?” 


“The usual,” replied Delia.


“Me too,” said Candace. 


“Nothing wrong with a favorite,” Friella said, stepping away. “I’ll be back soon.” 


“I’m glad you put the boots back on,” said Asp, gesturing down to Candace’s lacy boots. 


“It was hard to take them off,” said Candace, looking down at the floor. “They’re probably the nicest thing I’ve ever owned.” 


Asp beamed. “For now,” she said, winking. 


“Don’t get a girl’s hopes up, now,” said Candace, smiling wide. “If you–hey, wait a second.” She pointed behind Asp. “Isn’t that Nesbit?” 


Asp turned. Indeed it was Nesbit–the human guard had entered the restaurant and appeared to be going table by table, asking questions. 


“Just act natural,” said Asp, smoothing her dress. “He’s not here for us, so there’s no need to fret.” 


“Easy for you to say, honey,” she said, a touch of anxiety in her voice. “I’m not a talker.” 


“So let me do the talking,” said Asp. “Besides, I think Nesbit’s neutral about Delia.” 


“And what is Delia doing having breakfast with a known criminal?” asked Candace. 


“‘Known?’” repeated Asp. “Not to me.” 


Candace shrugged in defeat. “Alright, have your fun.” 


They watched a newtkin family in the public square; the mother was trying to wipe some gooey food off her son’s face, and her son was resisting for all he was worth. They smiled together at the scene, and both of them were jolted back to their own lives by the sound of Nesbit speaking as he approached the table. 


“Excuse me, ladies,” he said in a businesslike tone. “I’m wondering if either of you saw a tallish dwarven man in a green tunic pass by.” 


Delia put on a dangerous smile. “What did he do?” she asked. 


“I’m sorry, Miss Violet,” said Nesbit, “I can’t divulge details of the case at this time. Now, did you see a dwarf matching that description pass by?”


“Can’t fault me for asking,” said Delia. “I can’t say I’ve seen anyone like that. Have you?” she asked Candace. 


Candace shook her head. She stared at Asp as though to beg for mercy. 


“Something wrong, Miss Higgins?” Nesbit asked Candace. “Or just uncomfortable around the law?” 


Candace looked anxious. “I haven’t done anything wrong.” 


“Did you know that, Miss Violet?” asked Nesbit. “That Miss Higgins here is a known criminal?” 


Asp exaggerated a gasp. “A criminal? Hopefully not the dangerous kind.” 


“Is there another type?” asked Nesbit. 


“Well, I thank you for the information,” said Asp, her voice rich with excitement. She turned toward Candace. “Would you tell me the stories of your life as a wretched criminal?” 


Candace burst out laughing. 


Nesbit looked sour. “I was only trying to help. Be careful, Miss Violet,” he added, turning to the next table. “Don’t get mixed up in the wrong crowd.” 


“I won’t!” cried Asp. “Thank you.” 


Candace’s eyes were wide. “You didn’t exactly play a low profile game there, did you?” 


Asp smiled. “He’s powerful among the guards, but even he can’t arrest someone without proof or at least real suspicion.” 


Candace shook her head in disbelief. “You sure do love to play with fire,” she said. 


“Well, of course I do,” said Asp, chuckling. “I’m with you, aren’t I?” 


-


“Okay, it’s time,” said Oslo, spreading an oversized roll of parchment on the table. “Let’s break this thing down piece by piece and start figuring out what could go wrong. Remember: be imaginative. We need to consider everything that could possibly happen. So let’s do it. Asp, how does it go if it all abides by the plan?” 


Asp pulled Delia’s inkpen out of her pack and began drawing a rudimentary map. “Here’s the south road as it leaves town. Then, here,” she said, pointing to her still-in-progress map, “the road bends. It’s very similar to where I got mugged a few years back–you can set up on the bend and be unseen in either direction, and you can surprise people on the road no problem.”


“Take what’s been done to you and do it better,” said Jehosaphat, nodding with an approving smile. “And then?” 


“Then we wait ‘til the armored wagon comes,” said Asp, tracing along the road. “It will be coming from town down the east road. When it does, two of us pop out and distract them. Remember that job we pulled last year, with the fake injury?” 


Oslo nodded. “The broken leg. You can’t get out of the road because you can’t move. Who’d you have in mind for that?” 


Asp swallowed hard. Throw him a bone, she thought. I need him to be happy with this job. “I was thinking Jehosaphat would be the injured one,” she explained. “He does such good fake pain,” she added, and Jehosaphat nodded graciously. She turned to Oslo. “I thought you’d be better for the final touch.” 


Oslo looked proud in spite of himself. “So we stop them. Then what?” 


“Then Kyrn and Dancer come out of hiding from off the road,” said Asp, gesturing on the map. “While we distract the guards, they snatch the keys from off the guards and get the keys back to the wagon doors.” 


Dancer smiled, but Kyrn looked worried. “We’re good at stealing things off of people when there’s plenty of other things going on. Things that might distract someone from noticing a claw reaching into their clothes. Is your distraction going to be enough to keep them from noticing us?” she asked. 


Asp breathed out hard. “It should be. Jehosaphat, you can really ham up the pain, right?” 


Jehosaphat grinned like a much younger man. “How many bones are broken?” he asked. 


“Uh . . . how about both bones in your calf?” she offered. 


Jehosaphat’s face contorted into a mixture of rage and pain. He howled and moaned, writhing on his armchair. “Oh gods, someone help!” he cried, and the gang cringed in sympathetic pain. 


“Okay, point made,” said Kyrn, looking away. “Damn, Jehosaphat, that’s wicked.” 


He smiled with pride. “So then what, Asp?” 


“And then Candace helps Dancer and Kyrn get whatever’s in there out,” continued Asp. “They move the chest back off the road. We make sure the doors on the wagon are closed and re-locked, and they return the keys to the guards. Then it’s time for Oslo.” 


Oslo leaned forward. “And what do I do?”


“You sweep in to save Jehosaphat,” she said. “I’m running around panicking while Jehosaphat screams. The two of us keep the guards busy.” She smiled and leaned in, her voice quieter, her eyes on Oslo. “But then you come down the road. You’re the one who casts a healing spell on Jehosaphat, who can magically get up and walk away after your help.” 


Oslo grinned. “You’ve got me faking magic?” He laughed. “I feel up to it.” 


“So you help me and Jehosaphat off the road, and we’re all elbow-deep in heavily protected treasure,” said Asp. 


“But what about me?” asked Gunther. “And Annabel? We’re just sitting around?” 


Asp looked down, putting two Xs on the map on either side of the road. “You’re there in case it doesn’t work. Even if everything blows up in our faces out there, there’s still eight of us to the two of them. If something goes wrong, you and Annabel help us talk the guards off the wagon.” 


“But–” started Gunther. “You brought me on to be extra insurance?” 


Oslo put a hand on Gunther’s arm. “You mind getting paid extremely well to stand around?”


Gunther slumped. “No, but I could still carve a few people up,” he whined.


Asp suppressed a groan. This is not growing pains, Oslo. This guy is going to make a call that screws us all over. “I’ve got a lead on someone you could carve up,” she said, her voice sharp. 


The gang looked at her in surprise. 


“You do?” said Gunther, his excitement obvious. 


“You do?” echoed Jehosaphat, his suspicion obvious. 


Asp nodded. “I saw the person who mugged me a while back. Both of the people, I mean.” She felt far away from everyone. “For some reason, the longer I go without doing something about it, the worse it feels.” She looked at each member of the gang in turn. “I didn’t take you up on it then, but I want your help now.” 


Candace patted Asp on the elbow. “Good,” she said. “About time you realized they need payback.” 


Oslo tented his fingers, his eyes distant. “In due time,” he said. “So that’s how it goes in a perfect world. Now let’s talk about what will go wrong in reality.” 


-


After hours of planning, the gang was exhausted. Asp felt as though her eyelids weighed as much as the cart they meant to rob, but she was restless. The members of the gang excused themselves either to bed or to a night out on the town, and soon only Asp, Candace, and Gregorio remained in the living room, Rose roaming and pouncing on imaginary critters. 


“I suppose this is the last we’ll see of spiders around here,” muttered Gregorio. “And mice.” 


“She’s barely bigger than a mouse!” cried Asp. 


“For now,” said Gregorio. “Soon, she’ll be big enough to safeguard this whole place.” 


Asp closed her eyes. Right. Rose is going to grow up. She’s not like Iris. “That’s true,” she said. She turned to Candace. “Our little baby is going to be a hunter.” 


Candace smiled and looked drowsy. “The best hunter.” 


“Let me get you to bed,” said Asp. She managed to get Candace on her feet and up the stairs to her room. “Good night, Candy,” she said, hugging Candace tight. “I’ll see you in the morning.” 


“Good night, honey,” said Candace, already half asleep. She stumbled into her room and collapsed on her bed. 


Asp turned and went downstairs. She considered rejoining Gregorio, then looked at the side door. Why do I want to go out there? She thought of the night before when she had met Patience. Why do I keep getting these feelings? She walked out the door and into the night. 


She allowed herself to slide into an automatic mode. She went up narrow streets and across sparsely populated squares. After a while, she emerged at the main gate to the city. The traffic from all but business interests used this main gate, and Asp had often stopped to watch newcomers to the city meet with people who had invited them to come. She took up a post not far from the gate and watched. A family of blue Ronan'el met with a traveling Ronan'el from their clan, and they exchanged hugs and greetings. A band of musicians clutched their instruments close and headed out onto the dark road. A pair of guards walked in a grand arc around the square, keeping an eye on the area. 


“Have you seen a young slightkin woman?” The voice of a middle-aged slightkin floated over to Asp from the edge of the square. She recognized the voice and froze. Slowly, she turned and looked. Her mother, dressed in a traveler’s outfit with a satchel across her shoulder, was speaking with a human woman, who was shaking her head. Asp watched spellbound as her mother approached a pair of dwarves and asked them the same question. Asp traced her mother’s path and realized she was the next person her mother would approach. She quickly turned and headed in the opposite direction. 


“Excuse me, miss!” called out her mother. “Miss, please come back!” 


Asp heard the strain in her mother’s voice. Why is she here? Does she expect me to forget that she turned me in? What could she want? She sped up and continued walking away from her mother. 


“Miss, please!” her mother cried. “I need your help!” 


Asp continued to increase her pace. She heard her mother’s footsteps behind her accelerate to match Asp’s own strides. She’s chasing me. Shit. I can’t just talk to her. She’ll probably recognize me. Fuck. What is she doing here? She turned a sharp corner and darted down an alley, sprinting to its end and turning to watch from around the corner at the alleyway’s end. Her mother jogged by, glancing down the alleyway but not noticing Asp in the dark. Asp stayed motionless for a minute before daring to emerge from her hiding place. 


I should figure out what’s going on, she thought. Why she’s here. She slipped from the alleyway and headed in the direction her mother had gone. Taking care to go unnoticed, she glanced around every corner she approached. At the third turn, she saw her mother talking with an elderly elven woman. Asp inched as close as she dared. 


“I’m sorry,” said the elf. “I don’t know a Heather or an Asp. But I can point you to the slightkin quarter.” 


“Thank you anyway,” said Asp’s mother with politeness and exhaustion. “I’ve already checked.” 


The elf nodded, her eyes sad. “May I ask how long you’ve been searching?” 


“Well, I’ve been here for just over a week. But I’ve been looking for almost two years,” said Asp’s mother, and it sounded like more years than that were weighing on her. “I–I did something I regret. I . . . I did something that I’m afraid turned her against me forever. I just want to talk some sense into her . . . I just want to tell her I’m sorry and bring her home.” 


That’s not home anymore, Mom. And I don’t believe you’re sorry.


“I’ll keep an eye out,” replied the elf. “Good luck.”


Asp’s mother moved on to the next person, a white Ronan'el, who also hadn’t seen or heard of a Heather or an Asp. You’re not going to find a Heather here, and the only people who know me as Asp would never tell you. She smiled painfully to herself and watched as her mother spoke to everyone in the area, one by one. Something in her hurt, watching her mother like this. She’s been at it this whole time? 


She turned and walked back towards the estate. Her thoughts were racing, and there was a hollow spot where her heart was supposed to be. She almost put me away, she thought. She wanted to put me away. She can search for the rest of her life for all I care. People don’t change. 


She paused midstep and reflected on the last two years. Could she claim that things weren’t completely different? Okay, I’ve changed, she thought. But has she? 


And then Asp recalled a moment when she was hiding under a bush, guards searching for her only feet away, Iris clutched in her hands. She watched in her mind’s eye as she gave Iris to the girl. She remembered the pit in her stomach as she snuck to the cart depot. 


I don’t care if she’s changed, she finally thought. Some things only need to be done once. 

 

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