You can read the previous chapter here!
“What are you in for?” asked the purple Ronan'el woman in the cell across from Asp.
“He hasn’t said yet,” said the mustachioed copper Ronan'el jailer, laughing.
“He ain’t said yet?” repeated the purple Ronan'el. “What the hell’s that mean?”
The jailer shook his head, laughing. “He came in, said he was wanted on two continents or some nonsense like that, and he asked to be put in a cell. I was happy to oblige.” The jailer laughed again.
“Hey, newtkin,” probed the purple Ronan'el. “What’d you do?”
Asp looked across the way to the Ronan'el. She couldn’t see Gorb, the copper Ronan’el jailer, due to the brick wall between her cell and the one to the right. She was at the end of a line of cells, and the purple Ronan'el woman was staring through the bars of the opposite cell right at her. Asp shrugged.
The purple Ronan'el laughed. “He’s crazy. Turned himself in over nothing.”
It’s not nothing, thought Asp. I’m staying here until I’ve paid for what I did to Gunther. I’m staying until I’ve made things right. “What are you in for?” she countered.
The purple Ronan'el polished a claw against her dress. “I got caught snatchin’ a purse,” she said with pride.
“Second time this month,” added Gorb. “You’re out of chances, Tyan. Next time you get caught, you’re doing serious time instead of a couple days.”
Tyan made a funny face for Asp which Gorb couldn’t see because of the brick wall of her cell. Asp smiled.
“It’s that time, folks,” said Gorb, his gear rattling as he stood up. “Bedtime.” He went and doused the torch in the hallway. “See you in the morning.” The receding sound of his boots on the floorboards were followed by the click of the lock at the front door.
“How long you been in?” asked Tyan in the darkness.
“Six days,” said Asp. “Or seven. Six, I think.”
Tyan laughed. “You lost count already? You better get disciplined if you want to know how long it’s been in a few months. How long you gonna stay anyway?”
“I don’t know,” said Asp, stretching. “When it feels like I did my time.”
Tyan whistled. “You’re a strange one, ain’t you?”
“I guess you could say that,” said Asp, half-smiling.
“Well, you sure ain’t a regular one, that’s for sure,” countered Tyan. “So what’s your name, then?”
Asp considered for a moment. I probably can’t trust some random thief. Not when she might say something to Gorb. “Gilbert,” she said after considering.
Tyan laughed. “That pause. That’s what you’re here for. You’re on the lam.”
Asp froze in her cell. “No, I–”
“Then what are you?” interrupted Tyan.
Asp searched for the right words, something that used to come easy. “. . . I’m someone who did something that they regret, and I want to . . .” Am I about to say “make things right?” Do I expect her to understand that? Is it even possible? “I want to set the balance.”
There was a long silence. “Alright, fine, Gilbert,” said Tyan, tired. “I believe you. And I hope you find what you’re looking for in here.”
“Thanks,” said Asp, surprised. “I hope you get out soon.”
“Just a couple days,” said Tyan, smiling.
“Hey, Tyan,” said Asp a moment later. “What’s the longest you’ve ever been locked up?”
Tyan laughed. “I did a month once. Why?”
Asp chose her words with care. “When you’re in for a while, do you start to feel–I dunno, like . . .”
Tyan grinned. “Crazy? Not yourself? Bursting to get out?”
“Yeah,” said Asp, surprised that Tyan had described it so well.
Tyan laughed, but it was rueful laughter. “Gilbert, if you’re feeling that already, you’re in for one hell of a time.”
-
“Gotcha a new pal, Gilbert,” chirped Gorb.
Asp could hear the bars swing closed on the cell to her right. She had a new neighbor.
“Hello,” said Asp.
“Hello,” said a deep voice from the other side of the wall. “I get the feeling we’re going to get to know each other fairly well.”
That voice is kinda familiar, she thought. Or am I just getting stir-crazy?
“He’s in for a year, Gilbert,” said Gorb. “You’ll have company for a while. Now play nice,” he added, and his boots clacked away on the floorboards.
“Edmund,” said the voice from the next cell. “And you’re Gilbert?”
“Yeah,” said Asp. “Welcome to prison.”
“And what a welcome it is,” said Edmund. “The little candies on my pillow were a lovely touch.”
Asp laughed. It was the first time in months, not since Tyan had been released. “Yeah, housekeeping has a real flair for presentation,” she said in mock seriousness.
Edmund laughed too. “I believe the classic conversation now is, ‘what did you do to get locked up for a year?’”
“Eh,” scoffed Asp. “I don’t really care what you did.”
Edmund sounded intrigued. “You don’t?”
Asp allowed Gilbert’s voice to take on a bitter tone. “Edmund, I haven’t left this cell in over a hundred days. I have heard so many people’s crimes, I’m like an honorary guard. And one thing I noticed is that the time doesn’t matter anyway. You can try to steal from someone and get a few days in lockup, but you can also get months and months. I talked to a guy who killed his own dad to steal the family fortune–he was out in weeks thanks to the family lawyer. You got a year? Maybe you sneezed on the wrong person.”
Edmund laughed. “Someone sounds a little disillusioned.”
“I’m sure Gorb told you about me on your way in,” she cried. “He loves to talk about his little curiosity.”
“I’ll admit I was curious myself,” said Edmund, allowing that interest into his voice. “People don’t often turn themselves in, and basically never without admitting to something.”
Asp was silent.
“I didn’t mean to strike a nerve, there,” said Edmund, but his tone was not apologetic.
“I’ve come to think that people are envious,” said Asp. “They come in here locked up at someone else’s orders. They don’t decide when they leave.”
“And you decide when you leave?” asked Edmund.
“Why shouldn’t I?” countered Asp. “I’m not charged with anything.”
“It sounds like you have it all figured out,” said Edmund. .
Asp narrowed her eyes at him through the wall. “More figured out than someone who’s locked up for a year.”
“You ask me,” said Edmund, “someone who’s locked up by choice doesn’t have much of anything figured out.”
“What I’m doing here matters,” said Asp, folding her arms. “I need to be here.”
“You have the conviction to serve time, but not the way society demands,” argued Edmund. “Do you often find yourself at odds with people?”
Oslo. Gunther. Mom. Candace at first. All my marks–gods, there’s probably been over hundreds of them. “Not really,” she lied.
“Maybe I don’t mean ‘at odds,’” said Edmund, correcting himself. “More like, you don’t understand why average people think the way they do.”
“Well, sure,” said Asp. “Doesn’t everybody feel that way?”
“Not all of us,” said Edmund, a wicked smile creeping into his voice. “But people like you and me? Absolutely.”
“People like you and me?” repeated Asp “Like what? Criminals?”
“Not exactly. I mean, some of us are born different,” said Edmund in a faraway voice. “Some of us are always pushing back against the powers that be because they don’t care about us.”
“I know what you mean,” said Asp, surprised that she did. “Like we’re not really bad, but everybody makes us out that way.”
“Exactly like that, Gilbert,” said Edmund. “So why serve a sentence you only have in your head because other people put it there?”
Asp considered this. Would I be here if Mom hadn’t talked about setting things right? After a pained moment, she replied, “Because sometimes the thoughts others put in our heads belong there.”
Gorb locked a dwarven man into the cell across from Asp. “Now stay here, and I’ll be back around dusk.”
“Take your time,” urgedthe dwarf. “Really, no rush.”
“Right,” said Gorb, chuckling and locking the door to the dwarf’s cell. He turned to Asp and Edmund. “Best to leave him alone.” He walked back to the entrance of the prison.
“Yeah, leave the poor soul alone,” raved the dwarf. “He doesn’t matter.”
“You alright?” called Edmund.
“No,” said the dwarf. He stood at the bars of his cell and stared. “I certainly am not.”
“A little time in here will calm you down,” said Edmund.
“I’m afraid it won’t,” said the dwarf, fidgeting. “Not in my state.”
“Oh,” said Edmund, looking down. “I didn’t realize.”
“Realize what?” asked Asp.
There was a moment’s silence.
“They hang me at sundown,” said the dwarf eventually.
“Oh,” muttered Asp. “I’m sorry.”
It was silent for several uneasy minutes. Asp tried to watch inconspicuously as the dwarf paced his cell.
“Any way out of here?” asked the dwarf.
“If there were,” said Asp, “why would we be here?”
Edmund laughed. “That’s an odd thing to say, Gilbert.”
The dwarf was staring at Edmund through the bars. “What do you mean?” he asked.
“Gilbert here checked himself in a while back,” explained Edmund. “He’s been here longer than me, and I’ve been here several months myself. He says he can get out whenever he wants.”
“I’ll trade you,” said the dwarf, staring at Asp. “Please.”
“How could I get you out by having checked myself in?” asked Asp.
“I DON’T KNOW!” yelled the dwarf.
“Hey, I said leave him alone!” shouted Gorb.
“Look, you two, please, I can’t die like this!” pleaded the dwarf.
It was silent again for a few minutes.
“What did you do?” asked Edmund.
“Stupid question,” said the dwarf, turning away.
“It’s not a stupid question,” said Edmund.
“There’s not many things they hang people for,” fumed the dwarf.
“Treason,” replied Edmund. “The local government regards especially violent crimes as punishable by death. And then of course there’s–”
“Murder,” finished the dwarf.
Asp clenched her jaw. The nightmares of Nicole and Wanda and the bearded man and Candace had continued almost nightly, but her waking hours were usually safe. Unless, of course, one were discussing murder.
“I shouldn’t have asked,” said Edmund, but his voice held no regret.
“Fuck this,” muttered the dwarf. “When that Ronan'el comes to get me, I’m gonna kill him and run.”
Asp gasped as though in pain. I can’t take seeing another death.
“What’s wrong with him?” asked the dwarf.
“He might be worried about how we’ll get fed if you kill our steward,” said Edmund.
“If it’s me hangin’ or you starvin’, I know which one I choose,” spat the dwarf.
An hour of silence followed. Then, Gorb clanked down the hallway to the dwarf’s cell.
“Watch out, Gorb,” said Edmund as the jailer approached the dwarf’s cell. “He plans to attack you.”
“Fuck you!” yelled the dwarf. “You colossal asshole!”
“Thanks, Edmund,” said Gorb, surprised. He drew his sap and held it menacingly before unlocking the dwarf’s cell. “Now, no struggling,” he ordered, guiding the dwarf down the hallway.
When they had gone, Asp asked, “Why’d you tell Gorb?”
“Because I want food tomorrow, and I want a shorter sentence,” said Edmund as though anyone would do the same.
Asp and Edmund listened as the mass of people outside the prison grew, and though they couldn’t see it, they knew when the dwarf fell from the cheer from the crowd.
“Three cheers for Tyan!” cried Asp. “Hip hip!”
“Hooray!” cried Edmund and Tyan.
“Hip hip!” repeated Asp.
“Hooray!” cried Edmund and Tyan again.
“Hip hip!” cried Asp, louder this time.
“Shut up in there!” yelled Gorb.
The three convicts laughed together.
“You get out in a few hours,” said Asp, smiling. “How’s it feel?”
“Good,” gushed Tyan. “I wasn’t sure what a three-month sentence would be like. Rough, it turns out, but less rough thanks to good company.”
Asp smiled. Tyan had been checked back in almost two months after the dwarf had been executed. She’d been caught stealing again, and this time, the sentence had been more severe. But aside from a rough few first nights, she had borne the brunt of it well.
Not like Edmund, though. He seemed as though he meant to be there just as much as Asp did. He was never anything but calm and measured. It made Asp uneasy at times, as though he knew something important that she didn’t.
“What’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get out?” asked Asp.
“I’m getting some good grub,” said Tyan, her eyes distant. “I want some meat that doesn’t look sad.”
“There’s a great steak joint a few blocks from here,” suggested Edmund. “I recommend the venison flank.”
“That sounds good,” said Tyan, drooling already. “I was thinking a good roast in the Ronan'el style, though. Say what you will about Ronan'el, we know our meat.”
“Think of us when you eat it,” said Asp, smiling.
“Gilbert, you absolute fool,” said Tyan, laughing. “Come have it with me.”
“I can’t just walk out of here,” said Asp, gesturing to the cell around her. “I’m here for a reason.”
“Gilbert,” said Tyan in utter seriousness. “You have been here for the better part of a year, right? When will enough be enough?”
“When he doesn’t feel guilty anymore,” offered Edmund.
Asp started to correct him, but then realized he was right about that much. “It was actually a year last week.” Wow, has it really been that long? It sure feels that way. She breathed deep. “Tyan, I did something I can’t undo.”
Tyan scoffed. “Everything we do is something we can’t undo. Even an erased pencil mark looks different from plain parchment. You know how many times I thought, ‘If only I could go back and not try to steal from that lady?’ I have thought it almost every day since I got here, and it’s stupid.”
“Why is it stupid?” asked Edmund.
“Because I don’t know any other life,” said Tyan. “I can’t walk outta here and into a shop and become a tailor. I’m gonna go back to stealing because that’s all I know. That’s all I ever knew. So thinking about how it could be different is useless.”
Asp blinked several times. “You mean, like, I couldn’t help but hurt someone? ‘Cause of the way I am?” That’s even worse than I thought.
Tyan nodded. “You couldn’t have stopped yourself from hurting someone, no matter what you did. That’s life.”
Gorb’s boots clanked down the hallway. “Alright, Tyan, it’s time,” he said. “Let’s get you back on the street.”
“Bye-bye, boys,” said Tyan, waving and blowing kisses. “Take care of each other.” She disappeared down the hallway and into the city.
“She’ll be back,” said Edmund once they had gone.
“Edmund!” scolded Asp. “At least give her some hope.”
“This coming from the least hopeful person I’ve ever met,” countered Edmund, “and I once knew a slightkin who fell hopelessly in love with a giant.” He paused. “Seriously, though, why not leave?
Asp narrowed her eyes. “Like you said. Because I still feel guilty.”
“And so you’ll stay here until you die? Or until they figure out why you’re really here, and you end up like our dwarven friend?” His voice was sharp.
He’s right. And I killed Gunther because I had to if I wanted to save everyone else. Candace would be dead right now if I didn’t. What would she think of me here? If she’ll ever think of me at all. Asp stifled a sob.
“My, you didn’t like that thought,” said Edmund, his voice slightly bitter. He paused again. “Wait, are you okay?”
Asp composed herself. “I’m fine. In fact, I’m ready.”
Gorb clanked down the hallway to them. “Lights out, folks.”
“Wait, Gorb,” said Asp, waving him over. “I’ve been thinking, and I think it’s time. I’m ready to be let out.”
Gorb turned and looked at Asp. “Anybody who checks themselves in at a prison and won’t say what they done–that’s someone who needs locked up.” His eyes glittered in the torchlight.
Asp was stunned. “What?” She put her hands on the bars in front of her. “No, let me out.”
Gorb laughed. “You really are a little curiosity.” He turned and walked away.
“Gorb! Gorb, no! Listen to me! I haven’t done anything! Gorb, come back!” Asp’s cries of protest went unanswered.
Gorb doused the torch and left the building, locking the door behind him.
In her cell, Asp paced.
“You feeling like the walls are closing in?” asked Edmund.
The cell did feel smaller. Without a word, she sat down on her cot, and she began to plan.
-
The front door to the prison swung open, creaking as it revealed the first morning light.
“Help! Help!” screamed Asp in Penelope’s voice. “Please help me!”
Gorb came running down the hallway. His eyes grew when he saw Lady Penelope Jasmine standing behind the bars of Gilbert’s cell. “What?” he managed after the shock subsided.
“Help me, please!” she cried. “I went to sleep and I woke up in here. Please help me!”
Asp could hear Edmund move to the bars of his cell as well, trying to figure out what was happening.
“How on earth did you get in here?” Gorb stammered. “Where’s Gilbert? Where’s the newtkin?”
“I don’t know any Gilbert,” cried Penelope, in distress. “I’m alone in here. Please let me out!”
Gorb fumbled for his keys.
“Wait,” said Edmund, suspicious. “How did she get in there?”
Gorb stopped. “Yeah, how did you get in there?”
“I don’t know,” cried Asp. “The only thing I can think of is that witch!”
“What witch?” said Gorb, scratching his head.
If a job has ever mattered, thought Asp, it’s this one. Sell it. She donned an even more terrified expression and tried to work up tears. “I met a witch yesterday who said I offended her. She said I deserved to be punished! I left her alone, but I fear that she’s switched me with this Gilbert to punish me.” Asp was gesturing wildly, and she let some of her genuine panic show through.
“Well, we can’t have an innocent woman in here,” said Gorb, shaking his head. He placed a key in her cell’s door and opened it. “Come on, let’s figure this out.”
Asp stepped out of her cell and down the hall. She turned to get a look at Edmund, who she had never seen despite their proximity. His beard was greying, but he was unmistakable. He was the bearded man who had killed Nicole. Asp stepped back from him without thinking.
“No need to be afraid, ma’am,” said Gorb. “He’s a gentle fellow.”
“Okay,” said Asp, keeping her eyes on Edmund and following Gorb to the front of the prison.
Once they were out of earshot of the cells, Asp whispered to Gorb, “I heard him talking this morning. He was saying something about a crime he committed long ago. A murder. I think you’ll find something on him in Eunax–I think he said Thistlewade specifically. Something about a Nicole–something about twenty-five years ago.”
“He said all that?” said Gorb, puzzled.
“Who knows how many others there are,” said Asp, a touch of real fear in her voice.
“I’ll look into it,” said Gorb, taking notes. “Now don’t go pissing off any other witches.”
“I won’t,” said Asp, bowing her head. “Thank you.” She turned and walked out the door, hurrying into the city.
She looked left–the road back to the docks. She looked right–her mother talking to a newtkin.
“I’ve spent the last year searching this continent,” said her mother. “I just want to be sure she’s not here. Have you seen a young slightkin woman, dressed like a diplomat?”
The newtkin saw Asp and pointed to her. Asp glanced down at her Penelope disguise. Fuck. Asp darted behind a nearby cart and hid. Shit shit shit. Out of jail, and right into danger again, she thought. Now I have to add a jailbreak to the list. Great–I’m wanted on three damn continents. Turning, she bumped into an elf, who dropped his coinpurse on the ground. That worked nicely. She quickly ducked down, grabbed the coinpurse, and ran in the opposite direction. He shouted protests down the road behind her.
Asp hustled down the street, running as fast as she could make herself go. Her legs already ached–she hadn’t had much use of them over the past year. She passed businesses and throngs of people. Funny how we never heard that much in the prison. It’s loud out here. She got to the end of the road at the edge of town, breath heaving, and checked behind her. If anyone was following, they were out of sight.
She turned and scanned the area. A few unassuming market stalls stood next to a humble church of some sort, and beyond that, a young newtkin man leaned next to a covered wagon. She approached him.
“Leaving Despair?” he asked.
Asp did a double-take. “Despair?”
He pointed back to the city. “Despair, the city you’re currently leaving.”
Fitting name. “Hello,” she said, her voice heavy. “I need your help. I have quite a tale, if you’ll hear it.”
The newtkin smiled and narrowed his eyes. “Fortunately for you, I have a soft spot for people who have more tales than anything else.”
Asp could have cried. “I need passage on your wagon.”
“You don’t care where we’re going?” The newtkin did not try to hide his amusement.
I think the time for subtlety has passed. “As long as it’s not Strey or Eunax or here, I would like to board your wagon.”
The newtkin gave her a long look. She peeked over her shoulder, then back at the newtkin. He had a knowing smile on his face.
“Come aboard, my Lady,” he said. “We’ll work out payment later. Maybe that tale you have will be payment enough.”
Asp gave him a curious look.
“Well, enough to get you on the wagon, anyway,” he said, smiling. “C’mon, before someone sees you.”
Asp looked back at him, concerned.
“Don’t worry, you’re safe with me,” said the newtkin. “I know of a ship with some reformed criminals who’ll take you in. They’ll help you get somewhere you can start fresh, anyway. I’d say they can get you as far as Afira, no problem.” He reached out a hand. “Norman, nice to meet you.”
“Hi,” she said. Can I really trust him? Just a stranger with a wagon who wants to help for no reason? She closed her eyes momentarily. Do I have a choice? “I’m Lady Penelope Jas–” She stopped, shaking her head. “You know what? Call me Asp.”
“Hi, Asp. Get settled in. We’ll be at the coast in Pyramis in no time,” said Norman.
Asp nodded and climbed into the otherwise empty wagon. She settled down in a corner of the cart and tried to breathe normally. Norman removed the stones around the wagon’s wheels and flashed a smile to Asp as they departed. She watched as they began to roll down the west road, leaving every memory she had far behind. And for the first time in a long time, Asp saw that as a good thing.
You can read the first chapter of the prequel to Nobody Knows Me (Two Different Things Can Just Be Different) here!
You can read the short arc between Nobody Knows Me and You Changed Too ("At a Crossroads") here!
You can read the first chapter of You Changed Too, the sequel to Nobody Knows Me, here!
You can read the other short stories that take place during the time jump in Nobody Knows Me here!
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